Monthly Archives: August 2013

Get More Bounce With Jupiter!

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Sometimes, the Universe offers us an opportunity to “get ahead of the ball” — to see ahead to plan better things for ourselves and our loved ones, and to foresee how painful and difficult situations can be repaired or set aside.

In the next ten months, you’re getting an opportunity like that.

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In Astrology, Jupiter is the generous giant that brings good times and a sense that The Universe is on your side. Of course, like anything else in life, it’s not always that simple.
Jupiter gives us the sense our worlds are operating within a certain philosophical framework — it’s the rulebook that keeps everything running in an orderly manner. It’s the referee who (more often than not) makes the call in our favor.

 

Saturn has an unfortunate reputation for being the planet that brings pain and frustration… and I admit, sometimes that reputation is justified. It’s all fine and well to talk about “growth experiences” and “life lessons,” but those things aren’t always very happy or comfortable while they are actually happening.

The two biggest planets in our Solar System have two very different effects on our lives. But what if those two planets actually joined forces and worked together for a common cause? Imagine the changes that could happen in your life!

That’s what’s happening over the next ten months, as Jupiter rolls through Cancer (the Sign of its “exaltation” — where it is strongest) and Saturn moves through Scorpio. In early November, Jupiter performs a “station”… when from our perspective on Earth, it grinds to a halt and becomes more powerful, then rolls backwards until March 2014, then moves forward again to reach the point where it stopped and turned by June. During that entire time, it will be aspected by Saturn in a trine — arguably the most agreeable, useful, and smoothly functioning of the aspects.

How will this affect you? Better yet… how can you work with those energies to get maximum results? These questions are why I’m presenting…

THE JUPITER BOUNCE:
A Year Of Astrological Power

…a special reading covering the period from now until next September in which I’ll help you outline what’s going on in your life, what can be fixed, and what can be made better, and how and when The Universe is giving you the green light to GO!

Book a reading with me for only $100.00 for the full consultation!… less than the price of a regular full reading. This is a limited-time offer… because everything in the world (and in the Zodiac) keeps moving. Don’t be left behind!

Write me for more information or
CLICK HERE NOW to book a reading!

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Need a hand figuring out your life and where it’s going?
Click on “About Readings” above and find out how I can help…
…and make sure you ask about Today’s Special!
Write me and find out more!

Things To Do When The Moon Is Void Of Course

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The Moon is “void of course” when it will not complete any major aspects to any other planet before it leaves its current sign. This is generally considered to be a bad time to start or finish any new projects, make any new agreements, or really… just about anything.
I personally find this rule of thumb to be true more often than not, despite the fact that it can be a gigantic pain in the ass… especially on days like today when the Moon is void of course all day long.
So here is a handy list of things you can do while the Moon is void that don’t require any great degree of precision, competence, or brilliant results:
  • Microwave a burrito, provided you actually aren’t all that hungry
  • Brush your cat, so long as your cat is mellow and doesn’t try to claw you
  • Reorganize your pantry, but focus on the items you can never find, just in case you can’t find them again after reorganizing
  • Argue politics or religion with someone on the Internet. Actually, this is safe to do it any time, because no one will ever change their mind about these things based on an Internet argument anyway. But go ahead, knock yourself out.
  • Visit someone with Alzheimer’s who won’t remember afterwards  if you were there anyway
  • Get drunk, but remain in a seated position at all times so that you don’t have any accidents
  • …Make a one day only offer on astrology readings that is so fantastic that if everyone took advantage of it, you would go out of business. When you write for details,  mention “void of course” in the subject line!
Need a hand figuring out your life and where it’s going?
Click on “About Readings” above and find out how I can help…
…and make sure you ask about Today’s Special!
Write me and find out more!

Love And Sex In The Stars: Daily Relationship Guidance!

The intersection of astrology and human hearts — who knows what things collide there? We do! Join Hilary and Matthew every week for fun, advice, tea and sympathy as we delve deep into the darkest reaches of the human heart and shine a little starlight in!
 
THIS WEEK: Join us as we speak to Brendan and Juna from dailyrelationship.com… a couple who work as relationship coaches and document their own relationship for our benefit. They’ll tell us how to build the foundation for a thriving, sustainable relationship, through Commitment, Authenticity, and Appreciation.
 
4 PM Eastern, 1 PM Pacific
 
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The Daily Sky: Venus Opposite Uranus

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One of the odd things about odd couples is that they really aren’t all that “odd” at all, especially to the members of that couple. From the outside someone might think “An accountant and a biker? What’s with THAT?” or “All that Virgo partnered up with a Sagittarius? That’s just CRAZY!” But you know… it happens all the time. And in fact it’s really hard to find a relationship… especially a newer one… where there isn’t some kind of peculiar difference to an outside observer.
Of course… to hell with the “outside observers.” Let ’em get their OWN relationship.
Besides… who wants to be in a relationship with someone EXACTLY like themselves? That would get boring mighty fast.
So with Venus opposite Uranus today, it’s time to celebrate the differences… and to recognize the potential for sudden unexpected change. Whether it’s your love life (or lack thereof) or friendships or how you make a living, the one thing that’s sure in life is that everything keeps moving and growing… or it fades away.
Whatever could use a little shake-up in your internal or external life: get out there and shake it today!
Need a hand figuring out your life and where it’s going?
Click on “About Readings” above and find out how I can help…
…and make sure you ask about Today’s Special!
Write me and find out more!

Confessions Of An Astrologer

Hi everyone, and welcome to the new site! In the coming weeks there will be more features and goodies than ever before, so please bookmark the place and come back often!

Let’s start the festivities at the new digs with a confession: specifically, with my appearance on “Confessions With Jenny Watson.” Keep listening… you may hear something about me offering a special deal on readings.

…but wait, there’s more! For THE LAST TIME EVER, I’m sending out free copies of my e-books “Love Around The Zodiac” and “The Astrology Of Bad Love” to everyone who mentions “Confessions.”

Click on the tab that says “About Readings” at the top of the page for more info! I can help you with pretty much anything you’re facing now, and provide guidance for the future. 

Write me and find out more!

 

Saturn Transits Of The Rich And Famous

TODAY at 6 PM Eastern, 3 PM Pacific… a thrilling look at the perils of being famous while under the influence of Saturn. I’ll be doing a special presentation of “Conquer The Universe With Astrology” dedicated to the planet that 4 out of 5 astrologers struggle to say something nice about! You’ll get Anthony Weiner, Amanda Bynes, Nigella Lawson and more!

6 PM Eastern, 3 PM Pacific

(And hey… if you’re listening live, why not call in? I might just have a look at your chart for you. Call (347) 677-1820!)

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JUPITER AND SATURN: GIFTS FROM SANTA AND THE GRIM REAPER…

my next online course with Aliza from Moonplutoastrology.com that starts August 19th!

Astrology For Life On Earth

Jupiter In Cancer in The Fourth House

A sample from my text book for the online course I’m teaching with Aliza from Moonplutoastrology.com entitled “Jupiter And Saturn: Gifts From Santa And The Grim Reaper,” which starts Monday:

Jupiter in Cancer in the Fourth House — Marcel Proust

French Author Marcel Proust is best known for his seven volume novel known under the collective title of “Remembrance Of Things Past,” which is remembered as both a profoundly deep recollection of a childhood in France… and as incredibly long-winded at times. He always wrote in bed… and in his first novel, “Swann’s Way,” it takes over 15,000 words for the protagonist to get out of bed. 

Want to learn more? There’s still time to sign up!

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I’m available for readings. CLICK HERE for more info.

JUPITER AND SATURN: GIFTS FROM SANTA AND THE GRIM REAPER…

my next online course with Aliza from Moonplutoastrology.com that starts August 19th!

Astrology For Life On Earth

Conquer The Universe With Astrology: Venus And Mars

How’s your love life? WHERE’S your love life? Confused? Astrology has answers for you! I’ll be presenting Venus and Mars by Sign and describing their nature with an added dose of both empathy and humor… depending on which one your love life needs more. All material based on the wildly popular “Venus and Mars” course presented by Aliza from Moonplutoastrology.com and myself.

2 PM Eastern, 11 AM Pacific

CLICK HERE to set a reminder
listen live, or catch the podcast!

And hey… if you’re listening live, why not call in? The number is (347) 677-1820!

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JUPITER AND SATURN: GIFTS FROM SANTA AND THE GRIM REAPER…

my next online course with Aliza from Moonplutoastrology.com that starts August 19th!

Astrology For Life On Earth

The Daily Sky: Venus Enters Libra

Venus walked into the Libra Bar swinging her hips girlishly and making her floral print summer dress sway invitingly to gain the attention of everyone there.
No one looked up from their drinks.
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She sat down at the middle of the bar by herself and ordered a banana daiquiri. Her eyes scanned the room looking for a potential partner. Still, no one seemed to notice.
“What’s wrong?” she asked herself. “Don’t people realize that I rule this place? Can’t they see how lovely I look today?”
The patrons paid no attention to her, as they carried on focusing on their drinks, as if they were actively avoiding all contact. A surly mood filled the air.
“Surely someone here has to realize that when I am in the place that I rule, affection and fondness and romance will bloom everywhere” she muttered to herself over her drink with the cute little paper umbrella.
She failed to realize that since the last time she visited the Libra Bar,  the place has been taken over by bikers. At one end of the bar sat Jupiter, his gut hanging out from the bottom of his T-shirt, beneath a torn leather jacket. He stared angrily at the other end of the bar, where Pluto sat flicking his switchblade and glowering silently back at Jupiter. From the back of the room, Uranus slowly approached them both, his hand slowly reaching for the pocket with the gun-shaped bulge in it.  Venus did not realize she had walked in to a big ugly T-square that was building up. 
The other patrons of the bar continued to focus on their drinks, determined not to become involved in the brawl that was about to begin. Venus, however, continued to mull over her situation, occasionally pausing to wave half-heartedly at someone, completely oblivious of the mayhem that was about to break out.
Finally she just couldn’t take it any more. “I’m here, everyone!” she called out. “Let the good times and openhearted expressions of love and fondness begin!”
The poor girl. She never saw it coming.

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CLICK HERE for more details on

Astrology For Life On Earth

Jupiter In The Second House, Saturn In The Fifth: A Case Study

According to the usual interpretation one finds in the textbooks, Jupiter in the Second House means you’ll never have to worry about money. These people, we are told, are born with it or have it fall into their laps on a regular basis. Surely, any chart you see with this feature is bound to belong to an heiress, or an Internet tycoon, or something like that.

You would not expect this to be the chart of someone who, say, ended up having to porn just to pay the bills.

Likewise, the conventional astrological wisdom about someone with Saturn in the Fifth House indicates they just won’t ever have kids. Case closed. That’s a sad thing for many people, but not having kids certainly be a way to save money… which might explain all the extra riches kicking around from that Jupiter in the Second House.

Now: let me introduce you to Nadya Suleman, a.k.a. “Octomom,” who has a birth chart that features Jupiter in the Second House and Saturn in the Fifth… and who is being investigated for welfare fraud (and has 14 kids, by the way.)

“I’d be lying if I didn’t say generating revenue wasn’t a major reason why I did it, but I found the experience was empowering and liberating,”

–Nadya Suleman, June 2012, discussing her motives for doing a porn flick.

“I hate babies, they disgust me… Obviously, I love them — but I absolutely wish I had not had them.”

-Nadya Suleman, In Touch Magazine,  July 2011

So does the astrology in this matter completely fail to describe Nadia’s situation? Of course not. In fact, the details of her birth chart tell the story pretty clearly. As we can see from the quote above, Nadya does in fact find her 14 children burdensome… which is one possible manifestation of that Saturn, and she did need infertility treatments to have them in the first place. But it’s not like she was doomed to not have children.

Also: despite her financial troubles, it’s not like it’s an everyday occurrence for all of us to have foreign companies tossing big-money offers at us just because of who we are.

As they say, the devil is in the details. As far as the Jupiter and Saturn in your birth chart? The devil.. and some angels… are there to be found too. Let’s find them together!

Octomom will be one of the many subjects we will be delving into in my upcoming online course, “Jupiter and Saturn: Gifts From Santa And The Grim Reaper,” which I will be presenting with Aliza from Moonplutoastrology.com. Starting on Monday, August 19, we will be teaching a two-week intensive online Facebook course for both beginners and intermediate students, which will delve deeply into the subject of the Solar System’s two largest planets.

It’s going to be a lot more than just celebrity gossip though. Specifically, we will be looking into YOUR Jupiter and Saturn placements,  how they affect you, and how the Jupiter and Saturn transit cycles predict what promise and peril you will face in your future… and how to prepare for what is to come, and how to understand who you really are.

So if you’ve ever looked in a book and felt despair at the description of your Jupiter or your Saturn placement, fear not. Astrology, like life itself, is a little more complex than that… yet ultimately it can be relatively easy to grasp the full wonder and mystery of it all.

…Now if only we had had this course available earlier, we could’ve spared Octomom an awful lot of public embarrassment, and an awful lot of diaper changes…

CLICK HERE for more details on the Jupiter and Saturn course. Better hurry: seats are limited!

And CLICK HERE for my series on Octomom and her children.
Astrology For Life On Earth