Category Archives: pisces

Eight Minutes Of Venus In Pisces

Whenever Venus enters Pisces… the sign of it’s “exaltation”… it’s time for the astrology bloggers to bust out the synonyms for “depth” and “compassion” and “confusion” and…

Why not just watch an 8 minute video that says and shows everything you need to know about Venus in Pisces, without actually spelling it out… which is kinda Piscean, if you think about it…

“To what end be Death, if not for Love?” Wow, look at all the colors! Hey, why is everyone dancing? Why am I dancing? “And what be life, if not for Love?” Holy cow, you’re beautiful! “Say a hundred things, should you wish, the meaning still remains the same.” I think I’m in love with you. “Who has ever known what Love is, and yet EVERYONE knows what Love is.” Hey… is that a Product Placement? I know I shouldn’t, but I’m so thirsty and this is delicious! “A garden of roses, love; strewn with thorns too, is love.” I think I’m in love with you too. Hey, where did you go…?

Just put the astrology texts down for eight minutes and watch this instead. It will tell you everything Venus in Pisces wants you to know, and in far better style than I could ever muster. Hope you don’t mind subtitles.

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Astrology For Life On Earth

Sun Conjuct Chiron in Pisces

Chiron and Pisces
Sitting in a tree;
First comes love,
Then come despairing,
     Then poor Pisces
     Is a plate of fried herring.

Check out my show! If you like what you hear… there’s more to come in the future! Please feel free to drop by and visit my Donations Page. It’s what keeps me going and, and you might just get a surprise…

And yes, I still send free stuff to everyone who writes me!
Astrology For Life On Earth

Fun With Pisces! (Another "Conquer The Universe With Astrology" Original Video)

Oh, Pisces: you’re so sweet and so kind. And you can take a joke about yourself. Or, if you can’t… you’re generally a pretty forgiving lot and willing to let me get away with it. What’s not to love about that?
I know you must be tired of always coming last in the Zodiac, so I decided to do your sign third. That way, you get special attention, and only have to feel guilty about nine other signs coming in behind you. Anyway, if you’re a Pisces… or know one, love one, want to seduce one, or buy one a drink (or any combination of the above), here’s a brief orientation video for the disorienting (but delightful) world of the Fish People!

Astrology For Life On Earth

Book Excerpt: Sun In Pisces

(The first episode of “Conquer The Universe With Astrology: The Radio Show” begins August 19th! Subcribe to this blog for further details… or find me on Twitter (@MatthewCurrie) or on Facebook! Hope to see you all there!)

Have you ever had that experience where you are drunk enough to do something that you know is probably a bad idea, yet still been sober enough to realize it while you’re doing it? Congratulations… you have had The Pisces Experience.

The symbol for Pisces is The Fish. Or rather, two fishes, headed in opposite directions, and neither one aware of the fact that they are completely surrounded by water. Pisces people tend to be focus on the spiritual and the higher values in life. This is a nice way of saying that they aren’t the most practical creatures on the planet. Pisces is naturally in tune with spiritual concepts like karma. They are the kind of people who can empathize with a dog about its mishandling as a puppy while that dog is biting them. This quality tends to make them natural “jerk magnets.” On the upside, they are wonderfully compassionate lovers and companions: just ask any jerk.

Fish folks love fantasy and adventure tales, and they have a peculiar gift for turning their lives into fantasy adventure tales. Unfortunately for Pisces, there is a shortage of magic wands and Lost Arks lying around to bring these stories to a successful resolution. Thus Pisces will often invest a lot of their time and energy into alcohol and/or drugs, which usually provide a much more predictable resolution than “real life” ever could.

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Goldilocks And The Twelve Signs: The Pisces Guide To Compatibility

Once upon a time Goldilocks went to Speed Dating, sponsored by the National Oat Growers Association… so naturally porridge was involved. She sat down at the big, long table and prepared to receive her potential suitors.

Before anyone else had a chance to sit down, Aries zipped in and filled the chair in front of her. “Hey baby,” Aries said, “try mine first!” Goldilocks tried his porridge. It intrigued her, but the flavor impulsively faded before she could really get into it. So she decided to wait for the next suitor.

Taurus came next. His porridge was smooth and comforting and sensual, and she really liked it. But then Taurus criticized her spoon technique, calling it ungrounded. This miffed Goldilocks to no end, especially when Taurus called her “ungrounded.”

Then Gemini sat down. Gemini’s porridge was full of interesting flavor combinations, any one of which would have been fine on it’s own, but the saffron and marjoram covered up the comfort and warmth she was really seeking.

Cancer offered his bowl next. Goldilocks was intrigued by the depth of feeling Cancer put into his offering. The conversation went well, and Goldilocks suggested they meet again, But Cancer became too defensive and scurried off.

Leo came next. His bowl was hot and shiny and flavorful… as appealing as Cancer’s, but more adventurous. But then Leo started telling her in detail how she was enjoying the wrong flavors, and how she didn’t appreciate his technique, and moved on, flipping his hair as he left.

Virgo sat down and offered his porridge. It was delicious. “Why do you think so?” Virgo asked. Then Virgo asked what basis for comparison Goldilocks had, her experience with porridge, and the exact mileage to her home. Goldilocks felt interrogated and over-analyzed, so she ran out the clock with Virgo by discussing her health issues.

Libra sat down and handed over his porridge. It was smooth and sweet and Pisces really enjoyed it. Then Libra began to question why Goldilocks thought so, and why Goldilocks picked that outfit to wear today, then accused Goldilocks of being evasive when she couldn’t answer the questions adequately.

Scorpio came next and offered his bowl. It was intense and affectionate and exactly what Goldilocks was looking for. Everything was going great until Goldilocks accidentally called Scorpio “Cancer.” Scorpio sat up straight and spent the remainder of his time berating Pisces for being unfaithful, and criticizing Goldilocks’ taste in foot wear.

Sagittarius came next. His porridge was warm and exciting, with an adventurous dash of curry. Once she finished, Goldilocks looked up from her bowl to ask for more, only to discover that Sagittarius had wandered off into the wine tasting next door, and was hitting on an ad executive from Cleveland.

Capricorn sat down and Goldilocks tried his porridge next. It was hearty and filling and good. Goldilocks asked Capricorn if she could see him again. By the time Capricorn finished delineating the cost of his porridge’s ingredients, the time involved to make it, and how his portfolio was performing, Goldilocks had lost interest and felt a little sad.

Aquarius sat down and offered his bowl of porridge. His bowl was interesting and unique, and Goldilocks found it intriguing. Unfortunately, Aquarius didn’t provide a spoon, so Goldilocks was unable to get into it in any real depth. The surface looked interesting, though. They spent the rest of their time staring at each other and then out the window.

Finally, Pisces sat down. Goldilocks was a Pisces too. This naturally started up a long conversation about their childhood dreams, last week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy, and where the best place to get married would be. Unfortunately, when it came to setting up a second date, Pisces was just as scattered as Goldilocks, and nothing came of it.

Goldilocks stared out the window sadly. It had started to rain. Maybe she should just give up on the whole idea of ever finding someone whose porridge gave her the combination of strength, sensitivity, and romance that she was hungry for.

Just as she got up to leave, Aries zipped in and filled the chair in front of her. “Hey baby,” Aries said…

Astrology For Life On Earth

The Neptune Guide To Harmful Drugs

Astrologers fall all over themselves trying to explain how Neptune works in a birth chart and in transits. Liz Greene wrote a brilliant, phone-book-sized volume about it that still came out largely as a stack of metaphors.

I’ve tried to boil down Neptune into simple, easy to understand terms today. And in the tradition of Neptune itself, today’s entry is also a secret message to all the Pisces out there. Pisces loves little notes clandestinely passed to it in the back of the class.

Neptune is a drug. Avoid drugs, we’re told by the public service announcements, and your life will be a better place. And who am I to argue with public service announcements?

Here are some drugs to avoid today, and I’ve made it all as metaphor-free as Neptune itself will allow:

Being drunk is a loud party with no ride home. Marijuana is flipping through the channels looking for news but only finding cartoons. Ecstacy is dancing to the beat of a song that’s ruining your hearing. Mushrooms are like realizing that everything is alive, and everything is moving, and your house is running away. Heroin is a world where nothing goes wrong, ever, even when the roof cave in on you. Cocaine is all the speed of the Autobahn, with a thousand times more and deeper potholes. Caffeine is a commissioned salesman on a roll, and who cares if the store is closed? LSD is seeing what God sees, only to wonder later if God wouldn’t rather have cable instead. Nicotine is five seconds of clarity and ten seconds of death. Ketamine is like being in a giant hamster ball at the rodeo. Salvia is like sitting in a hot bath with a head full of helium.


Religion is half an answer in an oversized hat. Spirituality is a muscular ditch-digger without a shovel. Politics is a band of attacking monkeys with written justification. Society is a beauty contest where you’re the only contestant and everyone else is a judge. Materialism is a starving man filling his face with styrofoam packing peanuts. Community is an angry mob with torches that accepts you… today. Romance is a beautiful child who screams for cookies every ten minutes. Sex is an itch you’d gladly tear your skin off for one day, and just a rash the next. Patriotism is a loyalty oath directed towards an empty drum. The Internet is a room full of parrots all offering advice, all at once, all caked in each other’s crap. Astrology is a weatherman who can’t make it rain or stop raining. Love —

Love is the reason we’re all here, and is not the dominion of any one planet.

So: avoid all Neptunian drugs today, and everything will be as wonderful as it is in a public service announcement.

Astrology For Life On Earth